Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: You're tired, you're stressed, you're overwhelmed, and it's flatlining your libido. And when your libido has flatlined, it doesn't matter how much foreplay you have or what great sex techniques you know, you will not be interested in sex. Hi, I'm Dr. Trina Reed, sexologist and welcome to the Pursuit of Pleasure podcast where we do a deep dive into what makes women in long term relationships excited to have sex.
Thank you for subscribing to my YouTube channel. And if you want a soul quenching, mind blowing sex life, please check out my free masterclass workbook and video.
When we think about having a healthy libido, which is about you easily getting aroused and tapping into your desire, we often think about having foreplay. And yes, every couple should get into good foreplay habits and also do simmering desire outside of the bedroom.
But if your libido has flatlined where you have no interest in sex, what are your options? You could quit your job, become a monk and meditate full time, but that's not a realistic option for most of us. And most of us do want to help our body naturally, but aren't sure how that works. That's why on today's podcast we're talking to Dr. Alicia Raji. I can list off the numerous stats that show how stress kills your libido. And when it comes to managing stress and feeling overwhelmed, there are a few options in Western medicine, but it often means taking pharmaceuticals. On the other side of this, Eastern medicine offers a wide variety of options, but most are unregulated.
First, let's look at what skeptics of Eastern medicine have to say. So there was an article in the Walrus that stated the multi trillion dollar wellness industry is making us sick. That alternative medicine has become a scrutiny free wonderland for anything and everything.
The article then goes on to show and prove the rampant misinformation by social media influencers.
There are also Vocal critics like Dr. Jen Gunter, who spent many years going after goop and anything that isn't FDA approved. I was on social media last week and noticed one of Dr. Gunter's followers questioning the legitimacy of Nuve, which is an all natural product line created by scientist and gynecologist Dr. Renji Chang. Now let me repeat that. Dr. Chang is a scientist and a gynecologist that has done rigorous testing on the Nuve product line.
So although Nueve is not FDA approved, I am also confident that it is not snake oil. As one of Dr. Gunter's followers, professed. You know, sometimes it feels like Dr. Gunter and her band of Mary trolls are the mean girls in the holistic space.
Do I believe there are many so called holistic companies wanting to take advantage of vulnerable people?
Absolutely.
And there are many more practitioners and companies dedicated to healing you in a holistic way. You want to get your libido, arousal and desire back. So where does this leave you? Because it is very confusing. Do you go with Western medicine or with ease Eastern medicine? Or is it a combination of the two? And if it is, what does that look like? To help us with that, it's a delight to welcome a very credentialed naturopathic doctor who can answer all of these tough questions.
Dr. Alicia Raji graduated from the Canadian College of naturopathic medicine in 2015.
She received a Bachelor of Science degree in 2009. Dr. Raji knows firsthand that by uncovering the root causes of symptoms and by working on all parts of an individual, they can move through their symptoms that may hinder them from achieving their optimum and best selves. So let's get into this interview.
[00:04:26] Speaker B: Welcome, Dr. Alicia. We're so excited to hear what you have to say about holistic medicine, naturopathy and women's sexuality. Like, I just really want us to do a, a deep dive into this subject. So, Dr. Alicia, walk us through.
When a woman comes into your office and she has a sexual difficulty, what are the steps that you take? Like what? Take us through the whole process from, from start to finish. What you would do if I was a woman walking into your office asking for some help?
[00:05:03] Speaker C: Yeah. So let's say you're just someone who hasn't really learned much about naturopathic medicine. You don't really know holistic approaches. We don't even have to start there. It can even be a simple phone call to me because I do offer 15 minute, you know, sometimes 1520 minute free consultations just so I can walk you through exactly what might, what it might look like, just so that there's no pressure, that kind of thing. But most people do walk in, they're kind of ready to go. And essentially what I like to tell people is come exactly as you are. Bring, bring everything that you're currently doing, all the medications you're taking, all the supplements you're taking, anyone you're talking to, any lab work you have, the more objective, like data I can use. That's usually a good place to start because it will be a really long intake. It'll be an hour, sometimes an hour and a Half pretty detailed question. So I tend to try to rule out kind of the most simple things first, you know, I'll look at, yeah, exactly your, what you've done with your doctor, what diagnosis you might have. I'll look at lab work a little more thoroughly. I'll look at your iron, your thyroid levels, any hormonal tests you've had. And we kind of look at it even outside of the range, if that makes sense. Because sometimes people will come in and they'll say, well, everything was in range. I don't really know what's going on, but I'm like, well, you know, a quick example that I see all the time is your iron is so low, you're sitting at like a 25 or 30, but the iron ranges from 20 to 300 usually. So, you know, simple fixes like that that are just so easy to look at. And then obviously we'll go further. So I'll ask you about, yeah, just your diet, your lifestyle, your medical history going back to probably when you were really young. So trying to find patterns and root causes is kind of where I start.
[00:06:55] Speaker B: So I guess this differs from seeing a medical doctor because I know when I go to see my doctor, it's a five, ten minute intake and then he tries to figure it out within that range and then I'm out the door. So this is more of a, when you intake somebody, it's like, okay, let's, let's look at everything.
[00:07:16] Speaker C: Exactly. Because that's really what I'm trying to get at. Like, let's just see not just symptom management, but let's try to see the patterns of what's going on. Right. But I find that working together with medical doctors, and sometimes that's a challenge, but sometimes it's not. Sometimes. You know, I've been doing this for many years now. I'm almost in my eighth year of practice. And over time I have seen that just working tandem with like doctors and through the public system and then also with me can be really, really beneficial because yeah, they can requisition labs really quickly. Not to say I can't, but then because I'm private, there's cost to it, things like that. But yeah, the 15 minute consult with doctors can be really challenging and they can sometimes don't feel like you're getting everything done, but you are getting movement forward. And that's kind of also where I fit in. So I do have clients that are kind of seeing both and then they'll refer back to me like after their appointment. Or I work a lot with the regional fertility program because I see a lot of fertility. And then I'm like, okay, come back and see me once you get those results back. Do you know what I mean? So working together just seems to be the best.
[00:08:22] Speaker B: If a woman's sitting on the fence, what is your best advice for those women who don't know whether a doctor of naturopathy can really help them with their sexuality? And I just want to preface this by saying there's been multiple studies that have come out in recent years to say that the, the vast majority of women will not go to her doctor to speak about sexual difficulties.
[00:08:52] Speaker C: Right.
[00:08:52] Speaker B: So I think it's like out of a hundred women, one woman out of a hundred will go to her doctor to speak about sexual difficulties. And I'm just wondering, is that different in your space?
[00:09:05] Speaker C: Really interesting point, because I find women are pretty open about their sexuality and, and sexual dysfunctions, so to speak. Because I would say the majority of people that do come are women. I do see men, but often I find. Not to say men won't come out on their own volition, but a lot of the times it's their wives or the girlfriends. They're like, I'm bringing my husband or I'm bringing my boyfriend because he has X, Y and Z. Because I think generally in medicine, men tend to leave a lot of their symptoms kind of just, oh, I'll just work through it, or kind of will have this attitude. It was not a big deal. But I, I find in my practice that's not the case, especially with women. I do see a lot of women that are pretty open about what they're going through.
So, yeah, maybe in our profession versus the medical profession, ours, yeah, I do see a lot. So that maybe doesn't track in our side of things, but maybe when it comes to medical doctors or medical appointments, it's not that they won't see their doctor for it, but maybe they'll put it as like one of the lower on their list of symptoms. Right. So maybe they just don't get to it because there's other things that are higher on their list. I don't know.
[00:10:16] Speaker B: And maybe there aren't many options for women when it comes to sexual difficulties with their doctor. Like, what if I go to my doctor with a sex sexual difficulty? What can they do about it? Offer me antidepressants which my doctor has. Not that I, you know, but I'm just saying, like, what can they offer me for that which I, which I feel like you would have a lot more options available for that woman.
[00:10:43] Speaker C: Right. We do have a big arsenal because a lot of what we do is functional medicine. Right. Like I said, getting to the root cause. And. And like I said, the medical system just has a different approach and limitations to a certain point, if you have what they can offer. Because so much. Maybe we'll get to this kind of in more detail. But the diet piece, the med, the herbal piece, the vitamin, you know, vitamin minerals, functional medicine. Like, I look at what could possibly be deficient and kind of building up hormone, building up neurotransmitters, and a lot of that is simple things like diet and lifestyle and few vitamin and minerals and maybe some herbal remedies. Right. So it's just not something taught in that field. So that's kind of where we fit in. It's just to kind of fill them in the gap, I would say.
[00:11:30] Speaker B: So what are some of the things that you could offer a woman if she is experiencing sexual difficulties? Like, can you just walk us through a few ideas?
[00:11:43] Speaker C: Sure. So, I mean, there's a few things with sexual difficulties, because that's a range. So there's obviously like low libido, and then there's painful sexual sex, and then there's just issues of desire and connection, things like that, Anxiety, stress around sexual matters, things like that. But I would say a common thing that I've seen in women, especially perimenopause and menopause, is that change in libido or that sudden drop. And oftentimes it's not a full drop. It's actually like, I've seen it where women are like, I. This is the most sexual I felt in my life. Like, I don't even know where this is coming from. And that's because when you're in perimenopause, it doesn't just drop your estrogen and your testosterone just, you know, off a cliff. It. It kind of goes up and then it goes down and it goes up and it goes down. So there are what's called estrogen modulators and things like dim or things like Chastry or Vitex. These are common herbs you might have heard of.
So things like that can be really helpful.
But I even go backwards to, like, a lot of have drops in libido, whether that's menopause or perimenopause or at any age.
And it sounds like such a simple answer, but it's dealing with their cortisol levels or their stress levels, because when you're in, like, a sympathetic Nervous system is always firing, and you're always releasing high amounts of cortisol. That's not putting you in what's called, like, a parasympathetic tone. And you need to be in parasympathetic tone for your body to, you know, effectively, you know, have a good libido and fertility. Because we want your body to be in a state of relaxation for those, you know, aspects and to carry a child and things like that, which all tie into libido as well.
So I always start with, like, anxiety and stress and cortisol management and things like ashwagandha B vitamins. I do a lot of the vitamin injections. I do, like, a lot of balancing of adrenals, I would say.
And then you can get into things like inflammation and inflammatory issues. So not just with, like, pelvic inflammatory disease, but just overall inflammation can, you know, kind of change the way our hormones are produced and released. So I'll kind of look at their diet and their lifestyle and just how they're living and the toxic load and things like that and kind of say, what can we do to just bring your body back to that balance for you? If that kind of makes sense.
There's a big range.
[00:14:15] Speaker B: Yeah, well, we're talking. Yeah. Like, this is. This is. You're trying to figure, you know, talk about a mountain and, you know, and narrow it down to something very specific. No, I appreciate that. And what's. Not that I want to say your success rate, but, like, does it just very candidly, does this work for some women and not for others, or is this a trial and error? Like, I just know that for me, there's some things that really work and then there's some things that really don't work. And it's trying to navigate that where, you know, what works for. For my body, totally.
[00:14:58] Speaker C: Just like anything in medicine or any goal you're trying to accomplish, you're gonna.
I try to go with the, like, simplest answer and try to work our way up. Okay. You know, that's why we have such a long consultation. That's why we have different pieces of data. Right.
I'll look at your objective data, like your lab work, maybe your X rays. Sometimes you'll find, you know, maybe there is a diagnosis of PCOS or endometriosis or a whole bunch of things like that, or pelvic inflammatory disease. Then you can kind of triage and navigate what the best option is. Right. Like, for, you know, maybe an inflammatory issue locally. I would maybe refer sometimes to maybe pelvic floor exercises or seeing a pelvic floor specialist and then coming back to me for, you know, doing. Sometimes I've done food sensitivity tests just to lower their inflammation, to find a root cause, to see what is causing the inflammation. So you can kind of work together that way. When it's someone who has a lot of anxiety and their cortisol levels are just really out of whack, then yeah, I'll probably push more towards the. Let's start with ashwagandha, which is a fantastic herb for cortisol regulation or B vitamin shots. I've seen that probably work out of everything really, really well. With all the years I've, I've been doing this, I've seen people's energy go up, I've seen their anxiety kind of be manageable. So if that makes sense, you kind of triage what the best option is. So in a sense, yes, it's trial and error, but with your best objective data moving that, you know, that compass.
[00:16:32] Speaker B: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I really like this approach because it's just looking at the person as a whole saying, okay, this is your life. Something I know for sure is you won't change a person's life if they are, you know, tend to be a stressed out person. They're going, they're always going to be a stressed out person. Or if they tend to be this way, they're always going to be this way. So this is who you are. And let's figure out a way to, to work with this.
[00:17:00] Speaker C: Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. And kind of help helping them best navigate that or taking the edge off maybe. Right.
[00:17:07] Speaker B: So I'm a very practical person and I like steps. This sounds really great.
And I'm curious about how I can start doing this.
So what could a woman do right this second to bring a more holistic approach to her sexual self care?
That's a big broad question for.
[00:17:34] Speaker C: No, it's a big broad question and I can answer that in two ways. One is like if they come see me, there's different options. So let's just say someone is interested in doing. Usually I say doing an initial naturopathic visit is ideal just because we get that full hour, hour and a half, we're really sitting, getting in the weeds of things and then kind of, you know, giving a pretty in depth treatment plan, whether it comes to diet, lifestyle, herbals, everything. And like I said, a lot of what I do is the vitamin injections, which I can tell you more about, which I mean, I can tell you a little bit now, but just the B vitamins, what I do is that's really popular is glutathione because it's a liver detox.
We know that we have to have proper detoxing kind of liver pathways to kind of get rid of the hormones that are kind of going through our system, things like that.
And then I also do acupuncture, which I love, traditional Chinese medicine, too, of qi and energy, things like that. That's kind of my approach. But let's just say someone just wants to know what they can do on their own at home. And you might be able to test this, too.
I feel like a lot of it is lack of education and just understanding what that means. So let's say we're talking about libido, right? Or we're talking about just sexuality and expression. I don't. I don't really know if it's a cultural. If it's a cultural thing or if it's cultural differences, but we're not really taught that in a way. I know we're taught, you know, in sex ed when we're younger about, you know, what happens when you get your period. You know, how does a woman get pregnant? How does an egg get fertilized? But we don't really talk about, you know, sexual desire and what women need and what men need. And this is a whole other tangent, and maybe this is a whole episode, and maybe you've done an episode like this, but I feel like it's an issue more in young boys and men because a lot of what they're learning is from pornography, which is a whole problem in itself with addiction and just not getting the right information and expectations of what is expected from. From the woman's side of things. So there's not really much taught about female desires. So I just think educating yourselves and maybe having more of a push in that way. So that's why I was really happy to come on your podcast, because I would imagine this is something that you talk about education so extensively.
[00:19:55] Speaker B: I talk about it extensively.
[00:19:57] Speaker C: So I feel like maybe, maybe not at a stupid young age appropriate age. I don't know what that is yet. But maybe at an age where sexual desire is becoming, is coming in question and maybe end puberty or even after that, in your late teens and twenties. Like, we're just not really. People don't know. And I don't know if you've probably heard of this book by, like, it's called Come as yous Are. I think by Emily Nagoski. Have you heard of it?
[00:20:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:20:23] Speaker C: Yeah. So things like that. It's a good book. It's a good book. So I've only read snippets of it, but I've heard about it from a different podcast and, and from another practitioner too, because we think that libido or, or becoming turned on is like a light switch, but it's not. It's a series of bricks and pedals and communication with your partner. So before we even jump into the functional medicine piece and think there's something quote unquote, wrong with us, or maybe, you know, our hormones are out of whack, start simple. Have a kind of a bold and honest conversation with your partner about your needs and about what things that maybe no one has ever said out loud or you've never heard out loud. Do you know what I mean? So that's kind of where I would start.
[00:21:07] Speaker B: Yeah. Communication is, you know, in the top.
[00:21:11] Speaker A: Three of how to make your sex.
[00:21:13] Speaker B: Life better, for sure. And, and it's my job to help women feel confident enough to be able to say what she needs from her partner, you know, which is. Which is the missing piece for the majority of women. She is unable to say I need something more or I need something different.
[00:21:32] Speaker A: So.
[00:21:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:33] Speaker A: And Come as yous Are is an excellent book.
[00:21:36] Speaker B: And, you know, there's a reason why it's been a multi book bestseller, international bestseller, for sure.
So just to. To finish off this podcast for those women who are curious about naturopathy, you know, but aren't really sure.
[00:21:54] Speaker A: So in your opinion, when should a.
[00:21:57] Speaker B: Woman come to see you about sexual.
[00:21:59] Speaker A: Matters and when should she see her physician?
[00:22:02] Speaker C: Yeah, and I don't think it's an either or situation. I think it's if I think it's at any point. Because the one thing that people may or may not know is that we're educated as primary care doctors. Right. So even our education, like I've done four years of undergrad in a science degree and I majored in kinesiology, and then I did my second degree in naturopathic medicine, which is another four years. And then I have to write a series of board exams to be licensed in Alberta, and I still have to do upkeep and things like that for ces. And it's a heavily regulated profession. Right. And we are, because of that, we are under the Health Care Practitioners act, so we can direct bill to insurance Companies like Great WestLive, Chambers, Blue Cross, all of them. You know, I didn't name them all. But if you haven't seen a health care plan, that's another option that a lot of people I see will be able to direct bill to their insurance company. So that just shows that, yeah, we are a legitimate medical profession. So there are some people that will see just me because it just decided that they wanted to see a naturopathic doctor and go the natural route. And then there's some that's like, you know what, I have a great medical doctor, but I want to also see what you can offer me so that maybe I can start the natural route, maybe, you know, and then not have to venture in the medical space as much or I won't have to take medications as often or as much or I can wean myself off it, I find. So it's not an either or. It can be. Some people just decide that that's what they want, that they value just this piece of it, and others do both. So, like I said, we're. I'm really open to having just like a free consultation just over the phone, a quick little chat just to tell you more about, like to see where you're at and then I can kind of guide you through.
And then it's not just like a.
A one size fits all right. We'll do a detailed plan. For some people. They want to do more. They want to maybe do a Dutch test, which you might have heard of, which kind of goes through all the functional pieces of like, all the different hormones and all the different pathways and kind of looking at deficiencies. Some people have enough lab work done and they just want me to kind of help them navigate what, you know, they kind of come with a slew of different tests that they've done or they have a diagnosis, and then I can use my knowledge and my expertise and kind of give them a treatment plan, the natural one.
[00:24:25] Speaker B: So, yeah, I think personally, this is just my personal opinion.
Having the two working together is the bomb. That's the best way to be doing things because both offer very different things and know good things. And when you can combine these two, I think that's what's going to set you up for success for sure.
[00:24:49] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, I agree. And I. I've seen that in my clients or my patients.
[00:24:53] Speaker B: So, Dr. Alicia, you are a fountain of knowledge and I really appreciate you walking us through this. So if somebody's interested in finding out more about you, where can they find you?
[00:25:04] Speaker C: Yeah, so I'm actually constructing a website right now. We're almost done. You can still find my email address on there and my online booking site, which is for my in person consultations. And then I will by the spring, summer, have virtual consultations for everyone who resides in Alberta, which will be really awesome.
[00:25:20] Speaker B: That is awesome, right?
[00:25:22] Speaker C: Because I find that like there's so much in that space and it's so easy. I can drop ship lab tests at people's houses. I could drop ship supplements. It's so cool. I can send meal plans online. It's Dr.
Rao G n D as in naturopathic doctor.
[00:25:39] Speaker B: So yeah, I'll put that into the description notes so everybody can just link.
[00:25:44] Speaker A: To you for sure.
[00:25:45] Speaker B: So thank you so much and yeah, we'll have to have you back on.
[00:25:51] Speaker C: Okay, sounds good. Thanks for having me. I hope I was able to bark some knowledge.
[00:25:56] Speaker A: Lots of knowledge.
[00:25:57] Speaker B: Okay, bye.
[00:26:00] Speaker A: That was a really great interview.
And I agree with Dr. Alicia that getting your libido back on track is not trying to fix a symptom. It's a whole body approach.
So feeling mentally and physically healthy will dovetail into wanting sex and anticipating foreplay. And if you want a natural way to manage your vulva, health and libido, please consider Nueve. Gynecologist and scientist Dr. Renji Chang developed Nuiv's product line which includes Crisendo. For libido support, please go to their website and check out the research and the reviews. And if you do decide to buy, please use my affiliate code Trina and you will receive a 5% discount.
Bottom line, women should feel empowered in their relationship to ask for her sensual needs to be met. Which takes the two of you to figure it out together.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments on your experience with holistic medicine.
Please check out my free Sex Boot Camp masterclass workbook and video.
And thank you for liking and subscribing my YouTube channel. Your support helps grow women's sexual pleasure because you deserve a deep, soul quenching, mind blowing sex life.
